Tablescraps; can you imagine anything is this world more glorious? Remnants of the divine meals from 3 feet above. How do humans expect us to eat the same mundane and bland dry kibble, day in and day out when they have something new and spectacular every day like mashed potatoes and gravy?
If our humans love us, why are they denying us the sweet tastes of variety they indulge on every night? When they go grocery shopping, why is it acceptable for us to have lamb and beef niblets every single time we eat but not for them? It sure would make things a lot easier for them; they might even have more time to give us belly rubs.
It has gotten to the point where it is time for action! Let's get ruthless, my fellow canines! No quitting, give your humans your biggest, wateriest puppy dog eyes and most relentless whimpering until you are presented with the liberating taste of your human's meal.
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