Fashion Donts

In all honesty, you can wear whatever you want..... even fedoras I suppose.

but there are some things that I see people wearing that really make me cringe and serve as a reminder for me that I should really maybe not care so much about what other people wear. Allow me to highlight some of the few shining and stellar examples

I'm sorry to anyone whom I may offend when I say this, but.... Fedoras? No... just, no. You're not Frank Sinatra, you're not from the New York press in the nineteen fifties, and you're not Bruno Mars either. Who, I might add, is mystifying the whole world at this very moment as to how he can still wear fedoras and seem slightly acceptable. (or write songs about how he'd catch grenades and jump in front of moving trains without concerning his mass audience about being suicidal)

All Camo...
Look I get it, the deer you're hunting in the woods aren't gonna call up Joan Rivers' ghost and tell on you for being such a fashion disaster. But at school? I see you. The deer don't see you, but I do. Even though you think I can't see you, I CAN SEE YOU AND IT LOOKS BAD.

Pajama pants in public...
you know, to be quite honest, I don't even know why I'm writing this for you; you obviously don't care. You know how I know you don't care? You're wearing clothes that are meant for sleeping and lounging in the house, where minimal amounts of people are supposed to see you IN PUBLIC. I must give you props, it takes a lot of self confidence to do that; I can't even send a selfie-snapchat to my best friend if I have too obvious of a pimple or greasy hair. My favorite part about the people who choose to make every day pajama day? Their true self-expression. I get to see what things you're really into by what print is on your pants. It is now public information how much you love Christmas by your fluffy, fuzzy snowman pajama pants. Thank you.  It's usually "Family Guy" or Xbox which gives me just a tad of insurance because I kind of had a speculation that you were a type of person that sat around and played xbox all day, but now I know for sure.

But scarves? Okay seriously, here's the thing. Picture yourself in the year 2003, Hollywood's red carpet. there's a lady. Gwenyth Paltrow, wearing a light and flowy strip of fabric wrapped around her jugular. She looks great. This is an instant trend. Stores are selling these long tapestries for women and men everywhere to strangle themselves with, like sheep following behind the rest of the herd, yet somewhat lion-like with their brightly colored manes. Flash forward 12 years. It's 2015. three proposed raptures and 2 expected apocalypses came and went, yet the one thing to remain? Scarves. WHY?

Like I said, wear whatever you want, it's your civil liberty, but with great freedom comes great power.